What does letting go mean?

Letting go means accepting things we can’t change and trusting in our self enough to make the necessary changes to improve our situation. Sometimes there are things that are out of our control, such as the death of a loved one, a job loss or the breakdown of a relationship. Letting go doesn’t mean we forget; it means we have the courage to accept ourselves and the situation for what it is.

When we hold on to past hurts, we risk upholding a victim mentality and prevent ourselves from moving forward and enjoying happiness. We cannot change the past, nor can we be responsible for the actions of others. What we can do is take positive action and shape our future accordingly.

Why is letting go so hard?

Letting go can be challenging as it usually involves relinquishing a part of ourselves or aspects of our past.  Previous experiences and interactions with others shape who we are and form part of our psyche.

Letting go can feel daunting as it involves change and a range of emotions including loss and fear. We may feel insecure and fearful of the unknown, and feel like we are losing a part of our self.

In order to move forward with our lives, making change is vital. We are creatures of habit and it can be easy to revert to old ways, so remaining mentally fit is essential

Tips for letting go

• Practice positive self-talk and mindfulness. Whenever we let go of something, we will encounter resistance. Negative thoughts and emotions arise which try to convince you to resist the change. By all means, allow the negative emotions to flow as this can be a form of release; however, don’t engage with negative mind chatter and let damaging thoughts infiltrate your mind. Instead, be mindful of your thoughts and practice positive self-talk. Be optimistic and only use language that makes you feel good about yourself.

• Daily affirmations are a powerful tool for letting go. By using positive statements, we can change negative thoughts into positive ones. We are also telling our sub-conscious that we are ready for change. By repeating the same affirmation on a daily basis, we help reprogramme our brain to change behaviours, habits and actions. Examples of letting go affirmations include:  

• • I am ready to move forward with my life
  • I let go of all expectations
  • I release my fears of not being perfect
  • I give myself permission to let go

• Be kind to yourself and accept who you are. Stop trying to be like somebody else and please others as this type of behaviour only keeps you stuck. Self-love and self-acceptance are key in letting go. Accept the situation for what it is and believe in yourself that you have the power to make positive changes to improve your situation, and ultimately live the life you so desire.

• Reach out to a counsellor to discuss how you’re feeling. Counsellors are experienced at dealing with mental health and emotional issues; they will listen without judgement and help devise a plan to resolve your situation.

Move forward with support

Letting go to move forward with your life is never easy; at times, it can feel painful, scary and impossible. Fear of the unknown and letting go can keep us stuck as it makes us feel vulnerable and insecure. Trust that you have the tools within yourself to make the necessary changes to move forward with ease. Be mindful of how you talk to yourself; only use positive language and incorporate affirmations into your daily routine. Accept the situation for what it is and most importantly, accept and love yourself for who you are.

Need help with letting go?

Reach out and ask for support

Find a therapist , a psychologist or a mentor 

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